Sonya’s Story

I was born March 1964 and I was the baby girl of 8 children. As far as I can remember it wasn’t easy for me. It seemed as if something was always missing. As I grew older it was at age 7 when the incest and abuse started. It was horrifying. I couldn’t understand why this was happening or what I did wrong. This went on until I was 11.

By this time I was closing out the world. I was embarrassed because I thought everyone knew and I knew it wasn’t right. I was made to do things I could never imagine a grown up doing and I hated it. I used to think to myself, “Where is God?” because I remember hearing my mom always say there is a God. Why was God letting these things happen to a child?
I then began to withdraw from other children and be alone whenever possible. I had an alcoholic step-father who was abusive and I questioned God. My mom seemingly always had harsh words to say and she never believed me. I was 13 years old and the incest and sexual abuse finally stopped because I was becoming a young woman.

I still didn’t want to be around anyone, not even family, especially the ones that had molested me. I began to do strange things like lock myself in my room and hide in my closet and under my bed in fear of bad things happening to me again. I started having nightmares and the pain was even unbearable in my dreams. I experienced night sweats and shakes and again I questioned God.

As the years went by I began to lose focus and had to be medicated at 16. My real father died and I had a nervous breakdown. I smoked my first marijuana joint at 18 and didn’t like it so I started drinking alcohol to make me forget, but I didn’t like that either. I got married and that was even worse. I had my son and more abuse continued from my husband. Again I felt that God had left me. If I am still His child, how can my heavenly father keep letting me down?

I was 28 when I tried cocaine, but not by choice. My husband was an addict and every time he did his drugs he would beat me and make me do it with him. After using cocaine for a while I picked up the habit on my own. I divorced and remarried again and had 2 more children. I went through yet more abuse and had broken arms and legs… whatever was breakable. This is when my addiction really took off, and over the next few years I got involved with crime and spent time in jail and prison. I even came close to death.

Today at 46 I am a recovering cocaine addict. I know I became an addict because of the years of abuse and violence and I made some bad choices and had some bad relationships. It still hurts but I now know that God didn’t leave me. He only allowed me to experience these things to make me stronger.

In September 2009 the Almighty God led me to the Macon Rescue Mission. Since entering the Dove Center program I have gained a peace and comfort that I have never known before. I have gained self-respect, pride and dignity. I now have a life that can be lived without abuse, drugs and alcohol. I have found myself again. I didn’t realize that I was so far gone with the idea that no one cared or loved me until the Mission took me in.

I am so grateful to be a part of such a blessed place. I now know that my life matters and that I can be a part of something greater than abuse or bad circumstances. I am no longer held hostage to my old habits or the things that lead me to commit such desperate thoughtless acts. Those ways are no longer a part of who I am. I now have someone in my life that’s bigger than the addiction and pain and His name is Jesus. I have learned at the Mission to take courage against my fears and be steady in my efforts. I have learned to humble myself and have respect for those who teach me and the lessons they offer. I now know how to extend hands to others. I know that I don’t ever have to be torn down again. All I have to do is strive to be the person God wants me to be. Because of Jesus and the Macon Rescue Mission I finally have my life back and I now live for Jesus.

Thank you Macon Rescue Mission, you truly are one in a million and may God bless you all.